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Butt Fund


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Butt Rewards

I have put literally minutes of careful thought into what I will give you for helping my brother out with his butt problem. For your kind and generous contribution, you can become a member of four exclusive clubs. These clubs are (in order of least to most exclusive):


The Butt Friends Club

Members of this club have contributed a video to the cause of promoting Fix My Brother's Butt. Their videos are posted on the "Butt Videos" section of this website for all to see. These videos can be on any subject, just so long as they're kept relatively clean.


The Butt Donors Club

Members of this club have chosen to donate at least $5 to the cause of fixing my brother's butt. Their names are listed on the "Butt Donors" section of this website, along with a brief message of their choice. Each time a new amount of at least $10 is donated, a member of this club gets another message on that page.


The Butt Dino Club

Members of this club have chosen to donate at least $10 to the cause of fixing my brother's butt. They have been given the opportunity to ask this GIANT FRICKIN' DINOSAUR to say anything they want (much to his chagrin).


The Big Butt Club

Members of this club have generously chosen to donate at least $100 to the cause of fixing my brother's butt. I send an 8x10 glossy of my butt to each of these people taken by my brother using his awesome photography skills. I pay for these photographs myself; members of the Big Butt Club can be assured that their entire donations (minus PayPal's transaction expenses) will go toward fixing my brother's butt. Due to this, photographs are limited to one per donor.


The Dizzy Butt Club

Members of this club have made the highly questionable decision to donate at least $500 to the cause of fixing my brother's butt. As a hearty thank-you for contributing this amount to the Butt Fund, members of this club all recieve one of these crazy spinny dizzy gyroscope whirlygig things! Awesome, right?


The Butt Heroes Club

Members of this club have somehow gotten it in their heads to give a whopping amount of $1000 to the cause of fixing my brother's butt! In return for this astoundingly generous gift, I offer to literally kiss the butts of each of these donors in a venue of their choice. In fact, I even offer to post a video of this disgusting act on this website. But it gets better! If members of this club make the extremely questionable choice of donating $1000 more than once, I will kiss their butt again and again! As much as it takes. Because of the fact that my travel budget is limited, I ask members of the Butt Heroes club who are from outside my area to either come to me for the butt-kissing, or to send a picture of their butt to me so that I can kiss it. I scincerely regret this limitation.
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